We are living in radical times. Times that many of us thought we would never see. Radical times where too many men are not equipped to handle a world that’s seemingly crumbling right before our very eyes.
Our sense of identity is being turned upside-down. The myths we’ve been told about what constitutes a 'real man' – a protector, a provider, and someone whose worth is defined by what they produce – no longer adds up. These traditional definitions are collapsing under the weight of a rapidly changing world.
As gender roles shift, as AI disrupts the way we work, and as the economy continues to divide us, we’re facing a crisis of masculinity. In fact, many of us are quietly asking ourselves: what does it even mean to be a man in today’s world?
Silent struggle beneath the mask of manhood
The statistics don’t lie. Suicide rates among men are increasing. Depression and loneliness are on the rise. And half of all men have never even spoken about their pain. But what happens when we don’t speak up? When we don’t acknowledge our pain? When we don’t know how to ask for help? The truth is that our bodies are crumbling under the sheer pressure of outdated definitions of manhood. And the unfortunate outcome of these unrealistic societal expectations is that too many of us men are slowly participating in our own death.
Almost 10 years ago, my father unexpectedly passed away and I was forced to confront the unhealthy patterns that led to his untimely death. In looking back on his life, and the behaviours that I inherited from him and all the men in my life, I began to see how my father’s inability to express himself led to his recurring health problems. How his inability to ask for help led to him suffering in silence until his body couldn’t take it anymore.
My father, like too many of us men, was quietly suffering underneath a lie that conditions men to 'tough it out' alone, to hold our tears in, and to believe that our silence equals strength. But since my father passed away, I have come to realise that vulnerability is not the opposite of strength, but its deepest expression. I have come to understand that my own health depends on my ability to share how I’m truly feeling so that others can help me on my healing journey.
Despite what the mainstream media or social media algorithm may tell us, healing does not happen in isolation, but through community – through brotherhood. Healing is the recognition that we are not alone, but interconnected. Healing with others is the quickest way to freedom.
Despite the challenges that we face, something magical is happening all across the globe. In both urban and rural areas, men of all ages, backgrounds, and identities are finding strength in each other. We are finding community and learning the language of love and vulnerability. We are redefining what it means to be a man. And we are coming back home to ourselves.
Every time I speak my truth, I feel myself becoming more of myself. I feel myself coming to terms with the fact that my father did the best that he could in raising me. And I’ve learnt to forgive him, and even myself, for our inability to be honest with ourselves and each other.
In the end, our ever evolving relationship with 'manhood' should be one that does not judge, one that does not shame. We need each other now more than ever before. Our children are watching. Our collective futures are waiting. And our literal lives are dependent on how we redefine what it means to be a 'man'.
