Authenticity continues to be the buzzword of the moment. Many influencers and brands are claiming to be honest and unedited, but what does it really mean to be truly authentic in a digital world full of filters? Shadow work teacher and author of Do the Shadow Work, Charlie Morley reveals more…
Although I’ve been teaching immersive shadow work retreats around the globe for over a decade, at the end of 2023, ‘
shadow work’ went viral on TikTok. This was a glorious moment. I was very happy to see shadow work reach the mainstream so suddenly.However, shadow work isn’t a new thing. The concept of the shadow derives from the work of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, who coined the term nearly 80 years ago. Since time began, humans have strived to fit in with the tribe – survival has depended upon it. Although the stakes are lower these days, the need to blend in continues. However, from being ‘well behaved’ or ‘acceptable’, a mask is created. Contrary to belief, living an
authentic life isn’t just about being honest about your daily grind. Many experts believe it’s about having a deeper awareness about the hidden sides of your personality – also known as your shadow aspects.
What is the shadow?
The shadow is the part of us that is made up of all that we hide from others: our shame, our fears and our wounds, but also our divine spirit, our blinding beauty and our hidden talents. The shadow is our dark side, but not dark as in ‘negative’ or ‘malign’ – rather, dark as in ‘not yet illuminated’. It is comprised of everything within us that we don’t want to face. That is, everything both seemingly harmful and potentially enlightening – all that we have rejected, denied, disowned or repressed.
We all have a shadow aspect. It contains a source of benevolent power and potential, but until we bring it into the light, this power will remain untapped and our full potential unreached. Not only does it contain all the undesirable aspects of our psyche, our shadow can also be made up of our hidden talents and our blinding beauty. It’s a massive source of power and creativity, but until we bring it into the light, this power remains untapped and our potential is unreached.
Traditionally, shadow work is considered to be a kind of psychotherapy that focuses on the parts of the psyche that people often keep hidden, such as trauma and resentment. If you’ve ever had a session with a psychoanalyst, or a Jungian or psychodynamic therapist, you’ll be familiar with exploring shadow work in a therapeutic session. During this type of session, alongside the therapist, you explore your shadow aspects with the view to identifying, acknowledging and integrating your disowned shadow parts.
It’s not essential to do shadow work in a therapy session. You can also explore the concept independently if you have the right guidance (such as my book!), or through taking part in an immersive retreat or workshop. It depends on whether you feel you need that extra or ongoing support a therapist might offer. But for many, simply reading a book about the concept is a great way to get started.
Integrating the shadow
Any time you move from shame to loving acceptance, you integrate a shadow aspect. Any time you transform a fear or make friends with anxiety, you integrate a shadow aspect. Any time you are courageous enough to accept – not condone, but accept – the most shameful parts of yourself, any time you choose love over fear, and any time you step into the fullest expression of who you are, you integrate your shadow.
There are practical exercises you can do independently or with support from an expert or therapist to help you bring your shadow aspects into awareness. You could start by simply making a list of all the things that make you feel fearful, ashamed or extremely proud. Some practices, such as meditation, can also help you to stay calm as thoughts come and go, often revealing aspects of yourself that seem new. Other practices include sharing thoughts and feelings with a trusted person, keeping a journal, and becoming aware of as much as possible of the differences between stuff we make up and stuff that actually goes on. You might also like to create some positive affirmations to help you accept and overcome these aspects. An effective time to recite affirmations is just as you’re falling asleep, or when waking up in the morning. Another way could be through writing therapy exercises – see more at the end of this article for an exercise you can try at home.
Shadow work in your dreams
There are also practices you can do within your dreams, specifically within lucid dreams. A
lucid dream is where you are aware that you are dreaming. A lucid dream offers you access to a really refined state of awareness that’s believed to be even more powerful than being under hypnosis. You can exert a gentle influence over your dream content and plant seeds for positive change. It’s therefore extremely powerful to undertake shadow work within a lucid dream, more so than within the waking state.
For example, one technique I teach is to call out to dream, once lucid: ‘Shadow, come to me!’ or ‘Golden Shadow, come forward!’ and what should come back is a representation of your shadow self within your dream – whether that’s a three-headed troll, an actress you deeply admire, or a monster representing a part of your childhood. At times, it’s not for the faint- hearted! But the rewards can be profound.
Once you’ve plucked up the courage to bring your shadow forth, the rest is simple. You simply lean in and give your shadow aspect the universal sign of acceptance and love: a hug. Reassuringly, your subconscious will always protect you and only present you with aspects of your shadow that you are able to deal with during that moment in time. You will probably wake feeling lighter, centred or more at peace. It’s not always obvious which aspect of your shadow you are integrating during this type of dream work, but that doesn’t really matter. What is important is that you will have done a really huge piece of healing and integration – which leads to inner peace and authentic living.
So, authenticity isn’t just about how ‘real’ you appear or how honest you are. It’s about being honest with yourself about all the things you can’t face, and then accepting those things wholeheartedly.
By integrating a shadow aspect of ourselves, we don’t ‘become more’ of that quality. On the contrary, we become less affected by the experiences that used to trigger emotional reactions in us. By bringing the suppressed aspects of yourself into the spotlight of your awareness, you can achieve peace and freedom to respond more mindfully, compassionately and resourcefully in those situations where you used to be triggered – knowingly or unknowingly.
Exercise: Finding the Lotus in the Mud
At workshops, people have shared how losing their job led them to the career they had always dreamed of, how mental breakdown led them to the spiritual path and how illness was the wake-up call that led to living a fuller life. That’s what this exercise is about. It’s a great starting point that helps us to notice how suffering can lead to your blossoming potential.
1. Take a moment to come into an awareness of your breath. Just notice when you are breathing in and notice when you are breathing out. Notice three inhalations and exhalations before you begin.
2. Using the lotus image above, or by making your own, write on the mud section any crisis points in your life or times of suffering (for example, illness, losing your job, or a relationship breakdown) that you now see were either wake-up calls or that led to times of personal growth or benefit. Even if you can only think of one or two examples, that’s fine.
3. Write on the lotus petals the beneficial things that blossomed from the experiences that you had in the mud (for example, a new perspective on life, freedom, or the opportunity to follow your passion).
4. Take a moment to think back to what happened and to appreciate – and perhaps even to send love to – the people or situations that created the mud.
5. Dedicate the beneficial energy of this exercise to all beings.
We all have dark shadows and golden ones, and we are all ashamed to show some of them and too scared to acknowledge the power of others. So often we see ourselves as lonely victims among strangers who don’t know our pain. But everyone has been through pain and suffering. And everyone has Buddha nature. Imagine if we could take time to really witness the mud that another person has been through, as well as the lotus of awakening that is within them.
If you enjoyed this article, you may like reading:
How to Stop Overextending and Fostering Self Understanding by Dr Thema Bryant.
