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Sophie French 7 min

Back Yourself, Don’t Attack Yourself

visual image of intuition for the article Back Yourself Don't Attack Yourself by Sophie French

Sophie French explains how to rewire your mind, listen to your intuition and follow your dreams.

Back in 2020, I’d headed out to Bali for a two-week holiday to celebrate my 30th birthday by attending a retreat. That was, of course, the time the world began to close its doors and every day was marred with the fear of the entire world.

  I was being told from every angle that I had to return home. There was an enormous surge of palpable fear, and I felt completely confused. Everything in me wanted to stay, but staying in a developing country during a global pandemic, not knowing what was going to happen? It didn’t make any logical sense. Eventually, I made my decision – I’d fly back to the UK. As the days passed on, my flight was cancelled three times, and it wasn’t looking very promising that I was going to make it home after all. Prices were going up, and panic was starting to creep its way in. The pictures I’d seen at the airport showed packed lounges, with thousands of confused queuing passengers, and the mere thought of being there was giving me heart palpitations. Someone advised me to head to a flight centre to see what they could do. I’d never used one before, but apparently there was one in the town I was staying at in Bali, so I made my way there. As I was travelling there, a parade began to march out in front of the car, slowing us right down. I turned to my partner at the time and laughed. ‘I think Bali is trying to tell us something’, he said. Arriving at the flight centre, I expected to see crowds of hot and bothered people based on what I’d seen on the news, but instead I glided into a quiet, air-conditioned and empty flight centre, with no-one else there other than a man at the desk in the corner. After some conversation he assured me that the flights were too expensive, and that he would grant me an emergency visa to stay in Bali for three months. At that moment, I took the biggest sigh of relief. My entire body exhaled. I slowly made my way out of the centre and back home. I let my family know the news, and felt completely sure in my being that it was the right thing to do. There was so much global fear at the time, and I knew that a part of me had got caught up in it. Talk of ‘third world countries’, and ‘what if they run out of food?’, and ‘can the medical system cope?’ highlighted very real and valid concerns. Logically, staying didn’t sound like the right choice. But my heart knew that what I could experience in Bali was the true safety and abundance I needed at that time. I was exactly where I needed to be. This was one of those times that relied on me trusting myself over the voices and opinions of anyone else – even those I respected the most. It was the first time I’d truly ever leaned on such blind faith and went against everything, and spending time in Bali helped me embody that trust on a deeper level than ever before. It is the cultivation of our intuition that can take us to the most magical places, and in the direction of our dreams – should we be brave enough to clear anything in the way and listen. Here are some of my favourite tips and ways to clear your mind, listen to your intuition and follow your dreams.   Get quiet and listen Most of us are distracting ourselves all the time. Can you think of the last time you sat down distraction-free? Where you weren’t scrolling on your phone, or watching something on the television, or doing both at the same time, or sending an email, or having a conversation, or making dinner, or tidying up, or reading a book, or listening to music while reading a book, or tidying up and then scrolling through your phone one last time before falling asleep… It’s surprising when you think about the very little headspace our brains have for clarity from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep. When you get quiet with yourself, you get to hear what’s going on in your mind and body. You get to sit with your thoughts. And best of all, you get to follow that guidance for all your decisions. You can start by taking deep, cleansing breaths and sighing out, bringing your attention from your mind and into your body. Keep breathing and exhaling to bring yourself to a relaxed state – sighing helps to calm our nervous system. Set a timer for up to 10 minutes to simply be with yourself. You can ask for guidance with a question before you go in, and see what comes through about that specifically, or you can simply sit in stillness and be open to what comes up. You are the expert on yourself, so taking some quiet time to hear your own inner wisdom is a powerful practice to continuously cultivate. This is the place to start to hear and understand your inner world, and begin to build a relationship with that internal voice – the deeper voice of wisdom, below the mind chatter.    Practising mirror work Mirror work is one of my favourite practices for building a relationship with yourself and learning to trust yourself. Let’s face it, if we’re not being honest with ourselves, it’s hard for us to be honest with anyone else. Building this practice of self-honesty and cultivating a safe space for your own voice and feelings is such a special, powerful way to hear your own wisdom and truth. Sit in front of the mirror, setting a timer for up to 10 minutes. Take some breaths as you look yourself in the eye – this may take some time to build up to, so if it feels uncomfortable and needs to happen for less time, that’s okay. You can start by speaking some things that are true, such as, ‘My name is X’, ‘The time is X’, ‘I feel X right now’ and so on. Then, work your way towards going deeper by asking questions like: ‘What is something I need to know today?’ ‘What’s on my heart right now that I’ve been keeping to myself?’ ‘What is something I’m worrying about that I need to say out loud?’ ‘What truth have I been withholding that is safe to say here?’ Be really present with yourself and see what comes out. If there is emotion, or if it feels awkward, or you want to run, these are all completely normal feelings. We’ve been taught to look in the mirror but not to truly see – so let it be uncomfortable, and enter with curiosity. Complete the process by telling yourself some positive things, the way you would to a friend. You could say, ‘You look so lovely’, ‘I’m so proud of you’, ‘This was so uncomfortable but you did it – you’re really brave’, or any other kind things you’d like to share with yourself.    EFT tapping One of the most incredible tools I’ve used to heal myself and bust through my inner limits and old stories and programmes, and the way I’ve learnt to listen to my body as the well of all wisdom I’ll ever need, is through a tool called the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as ‘tapping’. Tapping works in the similar way to acupuncture, which releases muscle tension. But rather than needles – phew! –we tap on pressure points with our fingers. Instead of muscle release, tapping is used for emotional release, but works with the same meridian points in our bodies that store so much emotion and trauma. Tapping helps to release emotions stored in the body that are being exacerbated by a current or present situation. You know those times where someone beeps at you in traffic and you literally feel like you could explode beyond all reason? Or someone in the supermarket moves in for the cheese and it flips your switch ,and you are furious beyond repair for the rest of the day? These are all known as triggers – things in our present reality that trigger an emotional response in us, but that ultimately show us what needs healing. When you can start asking what those moments are really about, everything begins to change. The thing is, it’s never really about that person reaching for the cheese, or someone beeping at you. There’s always an invitation to look a layer deeper: to question your triggers and ask yourself what is showing up and ready to be healed. Tapping is like a superpower that helps you clean up stuck emotions, release fears, and build a sense of inner confidence that shifts your entire being in mere minutes. I have video resources on tapping over on my YouTube channel, which you can find linked at the bottom of this article.    Monthly manifestation rituals Creating a monthly manifesting ritual can help you to stay tuned in with your dreams and notice them coming to life. ● List down all the things you’re grateful for in your life right now and want to maintain. Maybe you’re proud of yourself for the way you handled something, or maybe you’re loving your new workout routine, the morning coffee on your balcony, or the laughter you’ve had with your partner. ● Next, list out all the things that aren’t working. Don’t analyse them: just free-write on what you’d like to release and let go of this season. It might be things like Instagram scrolling, or too much Netflix, or your calendar feeling too full. It could be a pain you’ve got in your back, or the fact that you’ve not been eating as healthily as you’d like to. ● Lastly, dream up everything that you want to call in. Really go to town when writing about what you want to create and dream up, even if it feels wild or you don’t know ‘how’. If there were no limits, what would you really love to call into your life this season? It might be something like X amount of money that you want or need, or a trip somewhere, or that you want to feel more energised. It might be that you want to be interviewed on a podcast, or to feel healthy and glowing. Your reticular activating system loves instructions, and the above is a beautiful exercise in which to tell it what to get to work on. I have had podcast and interview opportunities come my way, amounts of money unexpectedly turn up, brand new ideas come through to me, invitations for collaborations and more, all which have come in after doing this process. There are a number of tools that offer simple and accessible ways to connect with yourself – to get out of your own way and listen to that deeper wisdom within. I truly believe that we are all the experts on ourselves and that the more you clear the noise of everyone else and cultivate self-trust and confidence in yourself and your unique dreams, the more beautiful your life will become. Tapping resources: https://www.youtube.com/@sophiefrench4788 If you enjoyed this article by Sophie, you may also enjoy Becoming an Empowered Empath: Why Grounding Is Important for Healthy Intuition.

Sophie French

Hi, I am Sophie.  Known for my powerful blend of neuroscience and soul, I help you to hear the dreams on your heart, dissolve subconscious blocks in the way, and activate bold action in alignment with your TRUE DESIRES. To embody and become HER – the woman you’ve always wanted to be. Through tailored coaching, healing practices, creativity classes, intuitive guidance and embodiment teachings – I create a safe and empowering space for women to rewrite their stories, reclaim their power, and manifest lives of abundance, purpose and aliveness.

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