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Leah Russell4 min

The Rise and Pitfalls of ‘Good Vibes Only’ Culture

August 15, 2023

By Stepanka Kuralova In recent years, ‘Good vibes only’ has become a mantra plastered on tote bags, tea mugs, stickers, and social media platforms, as positive thinking, mindset work, and the law of attraction have surged in popularity. It's an encouraging shift, as people are discovering that transforming their thoughts and habits can vastly improve their lives. However, alongside this trend, a darker side has emerged: toxic ‘good vibes only’ positivity. Taking positive thinking to the extreme can have detrimental effects, including preventing individuals from expressing their true feelings, suppressing emotions in the long term, experiencing guilt for anything other than ‘good vibes’, and becoming disconnected from their intuition. Emotions serve as powerful messengers and an integral part of our intuition. They provide valuable insights and guidance, leading us towards clarity and breakthroughs. By disregarding or dismissing emotions, we hinder our ability to truly understand ourselves and navigate through life’s challenges.

The importance of emotions

The pressure to constantly maintain a positive façade can be overwhelming. Over the years, as a hypnotherapist and coach, I have witnessed the detrimental effects of the ‘good vibes only’ mentality. It often leads to a cascade of negative emotions, harsh judgments, and overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame. In my practice, I have worked closely with clients who have come to realise that many of their issues and symptoms are rooted in their emotional intelligence, past traumas, and unaddressed pain. For example, binge eating, unhealthy habits, communication difficulties, self-sabotaging behaviours, overwhelming stress, panic, and anxiety. These experiences serve as a stark reminder that emotions play a significant role in our wellbeing and cannot be dismissed or suppressed. As I delved deeper into my clients’ stories, I discovered the various reasons why my clients had disconnected from their emotions. Some expressed fear of burdening others by revealing their true feelings, while others admitted that exposure to ‘The Secret’ film or book had instilled a fear that acknowledging negative emotions would attract more negativity into their lives. Above all, many shared childhood experiences of being punished or distracted whenever they expressed certain emotions. Phrases like ‘boys don't cry’ or ‘good girls don't cry’, along with bribes of ice cream or withheld treats, reinforced the message that certain emotions were unacceptable. It is crucial to note that these observations are not intended to blame parents or caretakers. Rather, it is an opportunity for us to recognise and acknowledge that all emotions are valid, valuable, and worthy of exploration. By embracing the full spectrum of our emotional experiences, we can begin to heal and grow.

Building emotional intelligence

One of the core teachings I impart to my clients is the recognition that emotions cannot be neatly categorised as positive or negative. Emotions simply exist as messengers, offering insights into how we interpret and respond to our surroundings. When we disconnect from our emotions and habitually suppress them, we set ourselves up for what I call the ‘emotional pendulum’ effect. Imagine a pendulum swinging from one extreme to the other. Similarly, emotional repression causes our pendulum to swing fully towards one side, leading to a buildup of unexpressed emotions. Eventually, the pendulum swings to the other side, which manifests as either an overwhelming flood of emotions or an explosive outburst, often impacting not only ourselves but also those around us. Conversely, when we allow ourselves to experience emotions in the present moment, the pendulum finds a more centred equilibrium. By normalising emotions and acknowledging their inherent presence in our lives, we begin to embrace a healthier and more balanced approach. The notion of ‘good vibes only’ is fundamentally flawed, because it wrongly assumes that only positive emotions are valuable. In reality, so-called negative emotions can be incredibly productive and transformative. Consider the times when emotions like anger, frustration, or even rage have sparked within you a powerful drive to create positive change. For instance, feeling angry about an unjust situation can motivate you to take action and make a difference. Many foundations and charities have been born out of individuals channelling their traditionally labelled ‘bad’ emotions into something truly magical. Furthermore, it's important to recognise that even when making good decisions, we may experience uncomfortable or negative emotions along the way. Take, for example, an individual who decides to end an abusive relationship. This decision is undeniably important and positive, but it doesn’t guarantee an immediate influx of high vibes. Instead, they may find themselves navigating a complex emotional process, including grief and reflection on what was. Nonetheless, they understand that it is a necessary and empowering choice for their future wellbeing. As we challenge the toxic aspects of ‘good vibes only’ culture, we pave the way for personal growth, genuine connections, and a more compassionate society. Let us embrace the richness of our emotional experiences and recognise that true wellbeing comes from embracing all aspects of ourselves. By honouring our emotions and allowing ourselves to feel fully, we unlock the power of authenticity and pave the way for a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

About Stepanka

Stepanka Kuralova is a clinical hypnotherapist, coach, certified EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioner, writer and the host of the Inner Glow Podcast. As a mindset and energy alchemist, she guides her clients to transform every challenge into an exciting opportunity, replacing self-doubt with unwavering confidence and faith. She also teaches emotional intelligence and helps her clients manifest their deepest desires. Stepanka offers personalised one-on-one packages to provide tailored support, as well as leading group programs. Through her holistic approach, she creates a safe and empowering space for individuals to unleash their full potential and embrace a life of abundance, success, and fulfilment. hypnocoaching.me