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Leah Russell5 min

Using The I Ching For Romance and Friendship

February 3, 2020

by Rosemary Burr

The I Ching For Romance and Friendship is a modern version of the ancient Chinese Book of Changes (I Ching), which dates back thousands of years and is one of the most revered oracles in the world. Over the centuries it became a crucial part of traditional Chinese life and thought, and today still gives its users insight into the forces operating at a particular time. Its relevance and use have spread since the nineteenth century, its wisdom slowly filtering through to the West.

By letting us view the core of our relationships we can enjoy a more fulfilling partnership. It’s as if deep within us we have a precise, sensitive device that means we’re drawn to certain people or situations and repulsed by others. We know there’s something that makes one person our friend and another our foe, and the I Ching gives that intangible element a pattern, image and name, which reflect the same qualities as the situation we are in. By producing a parallel image we can release our prior beliefs and emotions momentarily and look at the situation anew.

Using The I Ching for Romance and Friendship

This book gives simple, practical advice on any relationship question. All you do is throw the three coins provided six times to create a hexagram, a six-lined symbol representing a certain configuration of the I Ching’s energies. There are sixty-four hexagrams in all, and the guidance associated with each is collected in the book. Familiarize yourself first with the energies, or principles, the I Ching is based on, then follow the instructions below, which explain how to take a reading. The I Ching For Romance and Friendship is easy to use and can help you obtain specific advice on what to do to make the most of your relationships. Here’s how to consult the oracle: 1. Get a journal. This will become your sacred space to create a record of your readings. 2. Phrase your question. You need to make sure it’s specific and time related. For instance, don’t ask ‘Will I ever marry?’, but rather ‘Will this relationship with Oliver, say, lead to a proposal of marriage in the next year?’ The clearer the question, the more helpful the advice. The I Ching is very practical and you’ll gain maximum benefit from it if you ask straightforward, down-to-earth questions. Write down your question with the date and time. 3. Throw the coins. In order to get an answer to your question you need to create a hexagram – this is a symbol made of six lines. Each line is created by throwing all three coins together, once, and seeing whether the coins fall head-side (the side with four characters) or tail-side (the side with two characters) facing up.

Throwing the coins

For each throw, place the three coins in the palm of your left hand (your intuitive side) and put your right palm over the left, close your eyes, let any stressful thoughts fade away, imagine yourself in a bubble of clear sparkling light and mentally ask your question. Then throw the trio of coins six times. Each time the coins land you need to note which side is uppermost and make sure you record the throws in the correct order. You build from the bottom upwards, so the first throw forms the bottom line, the second throw the line above that, and so on. Below, you'll see how to transcribe your result into a line in the hexagram, and the traditional way of recording each of the four possible outcomes.

Recording your throws

If you throw:	Draw this line:
3 tails	──X──
2 tails, 1 head	── ──
2 heads, 1 tail	─────
3 heads	──ϴ──

If you happen to throw either three heads or three tails, this indicates that a change is about to occur in the situation. In order to highlight that change, either an ‘x’ or an ‘ ’ is added to the line. This is referred to as a ‘moving’ line. The first thing you need to do is throw the coins and record your results (see box above). Then you can create your hexagram. Remember that you must start at the bottom (see box below).

Example

1st throw	3 heads	6th throw ── ──
2nd throw	2 heads, 1 tail	5th throw ─────
3rd throw	2 heads, 1 tail	4th throw ──X──
4th throw	3 tails	3rd throw ─────
5th throw	2 heads, 1 tail	2nd throw ─────
6th throw	2 tails, 1 head	1st throw ──ϴ──

This is your first hexagram, which gives you the answer to your initial question. However, you can see that you have generated two moving lines (on the first throw and the fourth throw), which means that the situation you are asking about is shortly going to change. But, you may ask, how exactly is it going to change? The answer to this more specific question is revealed by constructing a second hexagram.

Moving lines

So what do you do if you throw a moving line? You retain the first hexagram but each moving line changes into its opposite. Thus: ──X── becomes ─────, and ──ϴ── becomes ── ──. This gives you your second hexagram. Look at the example shown below to see how this works in practice.

First hexagram

── ── ───── ──X── ───── ───── ──ϴ──

Second hexagram

── ── ───── ───── ───── ───── ── ──

Remember: don’t alter the position of any of the lines, and only change moving lines.

Finding your reading

Once you’ve created your hexagrams, you can unlock the I Ching’s wisdom. Consult The I Ching For Romance and Friendship to find the right page for your hexagram. Each hexagram gives advice on the overall situation, plus specific guidance to help you answer questions on new romance, existing partnerships and friendships. You’ll also find timely tips on how to avoid pitfalls. If your hexagram has moving lines, the guidance given for individual moving lines will give you extra insight. If you’ve created a second hexagram, read your hexagram’s general commentary and the tips on avoiding problems to see how the situation will alter.

This I Ching helps you to act wisely, based on an understanding of your own circumstances. It can help to create a path of joy and beauty, and encourages you to tune in directly to the situation’s energies. This book helps you to detach from feelings of love, anger or jealousy (which can stop us receiving clear, helpful messages), reveals the truth faced in any situation, and helps to bring harmony to your own life and those of your loved ones.