Creating a State of Grace on Social Media

March 11, 2019

Social media is in the news (and our lives) more now than ever before – and there’s no deficit of negative press surrounding it. Katie Brockhurst shares how we can counteract negativity and ego online, creating and maintaining a state of grace in our digital lives.


There are plenty of people who admit to feeling anxious, overwhelmed and burnt out by social media. They feel that they have to use it for their business and careers, but don’t want to be online 24/7. Surveys imply that we’re a society addicted to our phones and that being on social media can negatively affect our wellbeing and mental health.


Social media platforms – particularly Facebook – are finally coming under scrutiny for the part they have to play in this, and are starting to take ‘some’ responsibility in response to the data by releasing new tools to monitor our time online. With all this in mind, is it possible to create a state of grace and bring more balance to how social media is used?

Social media and digitally connected communities can have a beneficial impact on lives and businesses – when a more conscious relationship is cultivated. It is possible to work with the more positive aspects of social media, and it starts with an awareness of what I call ‘the social media vortex of doom’ and the genuine desire to create communities, or online tribes. There are lots of examples of how social media has connected the right people at the right time, and it’s down to the space that can be created for grace and authenticity in social media content, digital conversations and activity.

This means coming at things from a place of love. When a strategy of love and grace is present in social media, a few things happen. The comparison complex doesn’t exist, trust and truth are apparent, and kindness allows for things to quite simply be easier.


“You can ask a simple question: are you sharing to impress, or to impact?”


It is still possible to get caught up in a ‘social media ego’ where likes, clicks, new followers and comments feed the addictive behaviour citied in some reports. The ego tends to get caught up on what everyone else is up to and experiences fear of missing out on a daily basis; it is the shouty, show-off part whose noise and busyness can overwhelm when scrolling. When people come from this place, there is a very clear energetic blueprint which triggers the reader to move into the ego self. This means that the reader often responds from that same place of ego, and here begins the social media vortex of doom. You can ask a simple question to counteract this: are you sharing to impress, or to impact?

There’s another question we can consider. If as a society we interacted with people in the same ways we do online, what would happen? It seems unlikely that friends would appreciate the kind of behaviour the ego uses to express itself on social media, which becomes a place for broadcasting, showing off and pushing views. It’s not kind, graceful or flattering.

Is it any wonder that social media causes so many feelings of anxiety and overwhelming? We’re lulled into a false sense of needing to be always on social media- there are so many platforms, types of content, ways to be, and so many people showing up and expressing themselves online in all these different ways.

So, how can we create a state of grace on social media? Here are 5 simple tips to help you use social media soulfully.


1. Pause before sharing 

Stop, breathe, and think about the content about to be shared. Consider where it is about to be shared, and more importantly why it is about to be shared. Think simple, think joy.


2. Avoid comparisons

Remember that everyone is on their own journey, so what’s happening for another person online (and offline, for that matter) is no-one’s business but theirs.  Comparison leads to ego, and ego leads to the social media vortex of doom. An individual’s path is theirs alone.


3. Radiate grace

Create joyful content. If the individual has enjoyed creating their content, it will be apparent when it appears on social media. This radiates grace and joy, sparking it in others and attracting connection.  


4. Get off the bandwagon 

Avoid the bandwagon of ‘new stuff’. Avoid buzzwords. Stick with what feels right and comfortable to you. 


5. Forget the numbers and aim for quality

Know that it doesn’t matter if a post gets 10,000 likes, 100, or 10. It only takes one person create shift in the universe. Trust that the message will reach who it is supposed to reach, and that if it changes just one person’s world or inspires them into action, then the difference has been made. Remember that the idea of measuring success of social media via data and numbers is mis-sold: quality connection is absolute.


When sharing from a place of love and truth, people are connected in a different way. Once society starts to bring this conscious awareness to social media, shifts in the platforms will naturally occur. Imagine if social media became a place of pure love and joy – now that’s a connected community to get on board with!


Find out more: 

Clients call Katie Brockhurst their ‘Social Media Angel’ and it’s more than just a nickname: it’s a job description! Social media consultant for Hay House UK and many of their authors including Diana Cooper, Sonia Choquette, Dr. David Hamilton and Lisa Lister. Katie started her social media agency Kdot in 2007, enjoying a client roster that included O2, Sony and Harper Collins. In 2014 she went solo, focusing on the Mind Body Spirit market, and now coaches people on social media all over the world.
Katie has a unique, inspiring and thought-provoking way of working with social media. She challenges business owners to think outside the box and to connect with customers in a personal, subjective and unique way. Her book Social Media for a New Age is designed to start a conversation around how we think about using social media for benefit.


Posted by: Leah Russell