Three Steps to Banish That Blue Feeling


by Clayton John Ainger

As we settle back in to the regime of life early into the New Year, many of us will still be spending time reflecting on our lives. But, the challenge is that even though we are still only couple of months into the New Year, a high proportion of people have already given up on their New Year’s resolutions and feel down about their lack of achievements.

Initiating the process for change at the beginning of the year causes us to focus on what makes us most unhappy, what causes us stress and what issues we find most problematic. In this situation, the largest obstacle we face is our own negativity. This state of self-sabotage has the ability to easily cause paralysis altogether, meaning that no change is made and we enter a phase of feeling ‘blue’.

However rather than letting this state of negativity over-power us, instead it is important for us to use this powerful energy to embrace the feeling and see it as fuel for change, to pick ourselves up and create a fresh, positive outlook for the rest of the year. Negativity and feeling down is merely a sign and a message from your inner self, that something is not quite right or how you think it should be.  It is a an opportunity for you to learn from rather than supress and let it hold you back, or keep you stuck.

I have suggested three easy, actionable steps to help start banishing this negativity as we progress and move forward into 2017.

  1. Turn the meaning of negativity on its head

Although it may feel you are the only one going through this low stage of the year, I can guarantee that everyone, at one stage or another, has experienced times of negativity and we all know the feeling of being stuck in a rut. However, I know from my own life experiences that negativity is a valuable resource for change. By treating it as a bad thing, we are providing the fire with more fuel, thus allowing it to take over our lives. In contrast, we need to view it as a part of us which will serve us rather than hinder us and something that will help us develop and approach situations that we find uncomfortable. This will therefore allow us to engage with life and live to a fuller potential.

  1. Acknowledge and act on this negativity

Feeling down often makes us feel heavy, anchoring us to our past and preventing us from moving forward. We may be hindered from making substantial progress in our lives, whether this is professionally or socially. When negativity levels are high, it becomes far too easy to accept failure.

I suggest that, instead, we become consciously aware of the presence of your negativity, because awareness creates presence, which then puts you in a position of strength to move out of the rut and move on with your life.  By acknowledging that we can in fact learn something about ourselves from our negativity and then use this consciousness to initiate a change in a direction that will serve yourself and others around you.

  1. WIN, WIN, WIN

When entering any tricky situation in our lives, people should use my ‘WIN’ technique to achieve the best possible outcomes by clearing their minds and focussing clearly on their desired outcomes.

W: Walk and breathe. The first thing I do when entering an unfamiliar situation is to conduct some deep and controlled breathing. It allows our minds to remain calm and help bring clarity to the situation. Personally, I have found that walking in a figure of eight helps to access both the creative and logic sides of my brain, also aligning my head and heart.

I: Intention. It is vital to set clear intentions and desired outcomes to every situation. I spend a lot of my time speaking in front of audiences; so having clear goals in my mind before entering the room is key. Whilst speaking to senior business leaders and customers, clarity is imperative. Clarity brings with it increased self-confidence and productivity and this creates a clear mindset allows me to serve my audiences and clients at the highest level.

N: Nail it. So often, we achieve our goals and immediately move onto the next challenge without taking time to sit back and evaluate what we have achieved. Many see the New Year as a time to fix all the faults in our lives, without taking time to reflect on the positive things we achieved over the past year. It is so important to celebrate what you have achieved which in turn will evaluate your self-worth. When you start to value yourself more, others will do the same too.

About the author: Clayton John Ainger is a sought after international speaker, author of the award winning best-selling book, The Ego’s Code.  Clayton is also the founder of a successful training and consultancy business. His ethos in life and in business is about making every person matter every time. This is why he is so passionate about people and helping them to release negativity and understand the power of doing what comes naturally.  Then people can discover and live what truly makes their hearts sing! Clayton works with people all over the world, from different walks of life. You can find a copy of his book here –





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