How to survive living with negative people
by Anne Jones, self-help author and speaker
In this series I share ways to manage your energy levels and to cope with the negativity you can face day to day from those you work and live with and to rise above the heavy vibes created by irritating and demanding people that can lower your quality of life.
People Hooking Into Your Energy
If you are energetic, healthy and positive you may be a target for people who are none of these. Do you sometimes wonder why you are so exhausted by the end of a working day, or after time with a relative? It could be that you are sharing your life with people who use you as a booster for their battery. Are they plugging into your high vibration energy and using it to boost their low vibration?
It’s a wonderful thing to share your light and help other people but you really do not want to be the source of lighting for the entire office without your consent! You do not want to be sitting at your desk while someone else is zapping you; a friend of mine could actually feel the energy seeping from him when a particular person sat at the desk behind his! That is energy theft. Let’s see what actually happens to your energy when needy people tap into your supply.
Their intention of taking energy from you, most often subconsciously, creates a link to you and over time this becomes a hook. Unfortunately, once someone establishes a hook into your energy field they can zap you anytime, anywhere.
Who may be stealing your energy?
Firstly you need to be aware who might create hooks then we can look at how you can prevent them from stealing your energy.
Insecure and Anxious
The prime culprits of energy theft are people who are nervous, lack confidence, have low self-esteem, are anxious and fearful, doubt themselves or cannot support themselves. This is not a judgement as those with a dependant nature will be taking your energy and power subconsciously; they are just trying to make themselves stronger. They will likely seek your advice and generally hang around you. Of course, not everyone who asks you for help is an energy sucker but if they become dependent upon you then they will exhaust you.
The Sick and Elderly
Naturally those who are sick are going to feel disempowered and the long term sick and the elderly particularly can exhaust you with their needs that range from company, support, physical help and emotional help. It’s important not to mix up compassion and care with self-sacrifice.
Lazy and Selfish
If you share a home or work place with people who do not pull their weight you will be fully aware of how exhausting this is as well as irritating and frustrating. For example teenagers can be self-centred and if they focus entirely on their own issues they will suck the energy out of other family members. Lazy or selfish people will not concern themselves with their own healing and self-improvement but will look for a quick fix for their problems using other people.
My first experience of someone being jealous left me completely stunned! I had this strong feeling of someone zapping my chest, like a hand squeezing my heart. This is caused by envy and that is the intention of “I want what you have, I want more than you” which is grabbing and harmful. Beware of jealous and possessive people! In my next article I will address the problem of manipulating and overpowering people.
What can you do?
Here are some solutions for preventing hooks and clearing them:
Releasing the Hooks – As a daily practise sweep through your aura. Hooks are often into your back so stroke your back the best you can or get someone else to do this for you; flick the negative energy away into something safe like a drain or, better still, visualise a ball of light transforming it. Then use a chopping motion on each hand as you say “I release all energies that are hooked into me, now right now.”
Have strong boundaries – Learn to say no, be careful of giving too much time, concern or focus to one person and acknowledge when you are tired. If you are a therapist or carer even with the most vulnerable of clients it’s important that you set out boundaries to prevent them ringing you at home, calling upon your time and attention when it suits them. Give them a time and place when you can give help then ask them to respect your downtime. Make sure you do not say “Yes” to every request for help, be prepared to delegate within the company or the family, otherwise you will burn out and become resentful preventing you from giving in a loving way.
Be discerning – You may not be able to choose who you spend your working day with and you cannot change your family – sorry! But you can choose who you socialise with so pick friends who have similar outlooks to life to you, are positive and are self-responsible and independent people.
Step Back – Finally, when you feel yourself overwhelmed by the demands and needs of others STEP BACK. I do this literally to emphasise to myself that I am not getting too involved in the lives, problems and emotions.
So, by being personally responsible for your own state of being you can enjoy your time with other people without the downside of being drained by them. Have fun!
About the author: Anne Jones is an international author and key-note speaker. Her self-help books have been translated into 17 languages. With her down to earth style she helps her audiences and readers to find ways to cope with everyday problems and overcome the effects of trauma and loss. She gives practical advice on how to stay uplifted and energised as you face the challenges of life.