Survival Kit for Life No.7: How to Survive Living with Negative People

By Anne Jones, self-help author and speaker

In this series I share ways to manage your energy levels and to cope with the negativity you can face day to day from those you work and live with and to rise above the heavy vibes created by irritating and demanding people that can lower your quality of life.

Keeping your own energy strong
You may often feel that your feelings and your energy levels are out of your own control and governed by your circumstances and the people in your life. However, there is always something you can do to strengthen your energy field and lift your spirits. Some of my suggestions are initiated by your will and your mind, some are simple symbolic actions that you can take that send messages to your mind, your spirit and even to the universe and some are making use of the gifts of nature that can offer a surprisingly powerful lift to how you feel.

Setting your intention
Your will is one of your greatest gifts. It gives you determination and strength and more importantly it allows you to make choices. If anything is to change in your life you will need to bring your free will into play and in order to regain your energy, to feel better about yourself and to withstand the effects of other people’s negativity you will need to set your INTENTION to do just that. You can either write down your aim or you can say it out loud. I like both methods. When I am faltering and feeling overwhelmed I say out loud, “I am protected and strong and only positive energies come through to me.”

Keeping your own thoughts positive
Every thought is energy and holds your emotions and feelings. Energy doesn’t go away, it can change form but once you have the thought it will stay with you. When you worry that negative energy sits in your energy field and if you worry consistently, then a cloud of toxic energy is formed; eventually this will make you sick or at least give you a headache. It is therefore essential to master your own negative attitudes and thoughts.

Thought forms of worry and anxiety.







Unfortunately, we have not been gifted with an on/off switch for fear and anxiety! But there are some things you can do to help yourself stay positive or deal with any negativity you have produced.

  • Take up a hobby or pastime like yoga that helps you to calm down and distracts you from the cause of your stress.
  • Set your intention to avoid stressful and worrying situations. Allow plenty of time to get to appointments, avoid situations that stress you out, simplify your life where you can.
  • If you have a worrying or negative thought either about yourself or your situation then send out a smiley face to balance the energies. I blow out a kiss to catch the negativity and transform it! Not something you would do in the office though!

Sweeping your aura
You can clear negative build-up and thought forms for yourself by simply sweeping your hands through your aura and flicking the negative energies into a bowl of salty water; this prevents it from affecting others or staying in the atmosphere of your home. Make your hands into combs by spreading your fingers and work from your head downwards.

Reclaiming fragmented energy
If you worry about other people or have lots on your mind your energy will be out there with the focus of your thoughts e.g. work issues, domestic situations etc.

Energy that is all over the place!






You can reclaim this scattered energy by saying out loud “I call back all my energy, now, right now” and sweeping your arms towards you as though you are gathering it in.

Clearing your own anger and negative impulses
Negative situations and people will be attracted to you if you are holding negative energies within yourself that act as a magnet. These are usually in the form of imprints – scars from past experiences, that hold the old emotions of fear, anger, guilt etc. that were brought up in a past trauma. Not only will bottled emotions act as magnets for more negativity but will be the cause of depression, moods, anger outbursts and anxiety. Set an intention and plan to heal those old wounds, clear the old emotions that you hold deep down, let go attachments to the past, forgive and move on into a more peaceful stage of your life. Find a therapist that suits you and get started. Once you have healed and cleared your past you will be able to manage your own energies so much better. To start the process of healing give yourself time every day to write down how you felt and then burn the writing – transforming the energies into light.

Make sure you have clear boundaries in your life. Don’t let others influence you and don’t give so much of yourself that you get sick and exhausted. Learn to say “No” when you are too tired to help.

Connecting to Higher Vibrations
For the twenty odd years that I have been working as a spiritual healer I have focused on bringing in the highest vibrations of energy for myself and others. You can do this through any number of spiritual activities and healing modalities. Find one that suits you and start your day by connecting to these valuable and loving energies. I use a symbol that brings in the energies of healing, love and compassion – you can draw this from right to left in the air in front of you three times and then the energies will flow through your hands. Simply place your hands on yourself (solar plexus is good as that is where your negative feelings get stuck).




Staying uplifted

  • Essential oils: To raise your spirits and your energy you can use essential oils – make sure they are organic and from a good source. Here are a few that can help: peppermint for cleansing and clearing, bergamot for anxiety and depression, grapefruit to uplift and release negativity, lavender for calming and lemon for a sense of joy.
  • Mantras: Mantras are simple statements that you repeat often to create positive vibrations. I have recently started to follow Kundalini Yoga and the mantras we use have an extremely beneficial effect on my spirit and energy. You can also make up your own mantra and use it whenever you feel low.

As you take control of your feelings and emotions your upbeat and vital energy will be a magnet to draw in positive people and situations. So, good luck and go well.

Love and hugs, Anne x

 About the author: Anne Jones is an international author and key-note speaker. Her self-help books have been translated into 17 languages. With her down to earth style she helps her audiences and readers to find ways to cope with everyday problems and overcome the effects of trauma and loss. She gives practical advice on how to stay uplifted and energised as you face the challenges of life. See her website for further information.

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