Survival Kit For Life No.10: How to Survive Living with Negative People


By Anne Jones, self-help author and speaker

In this series, I share ways to manage your energy levels and to cope with the negativity you can face day to day from those you work and live with and to rise above the heavy vibes created by irritating and demanding people that can lower your quality of life.

Radiate Positive Vibes
When you are facing negativity from other people it’s essential that you keep yourself strong and one of the best ways of doing this is to send out your own stream of positive and uplifting energy which will act as a barrier to negativity and also sets the deal of what you want from life back to you!

Positive thoughts and attitudes create great energy
No one wakes up in the morning determined to be miserable, to worry or to think badly of themselves. However, many of us spend too many hours with negative feelings about ourselves, our lives and the world in general. Unfortunately, we do not have a magic switch that turns us into happy carefree person! I wish! We cannot rely on other people to make us happy, because they can’t. They can help us to reach that state and our choice of who with mix with can certainly make a difference but at the end of the day you have to work on yourself to get to the happy state or at least the state of acceptance and calm that is not disturbed by desiring things that you don’t have, living in the past or worrying about the future.

There are many pathways and techniques written and shared that will guide you to the state of inner peace and how to manage your mind and feelings – all the great religions of the world have written tombs on this subject and so have the millions of life coaches and spiritual teachers of the modern day. But the solution will always come back to you being in control of your thoughts, your actions and your attitudes. However, you cannot do this if there is another force within you battling to bring you down, that whispers in your ear that you are useless and that send signals to your brain triggering negative feelings. These are the root causes of this force are the imprints and memories of past experiences that have left their mark on you, left you traumatised, scared, fearful and angry. These need to be healed and cleared for you to experience peace and positive thoughts and feelings.

Set your intention
Healing will start when you and your will take charge! So, begin the change by setting your intention to heal and to acknowledge what is locked within you, what imprints and memories create the fears, anger, guilt and other negative feelings. Identify and set your intention to heal the root causes of your issues, fears and pain.

Releasing suppressed emotions
Locked into the imprints of your past are your emotions and subsequent evaluations of your worth. Writing is a great way to let go of suppressed emotions, some of which may have been locked down since childhood. Take time and find a peaceful space where you can write undisturbed. Allow yourself to go down deep to the places that hurt and be really honest with yourself. You don’t have to pretend you are OK and that you like the person who hurt you. Just allow yourself to write freely about what you feel and have felt since you were hurt. Don’t judge yourself but let it go. If it makes you cry so much the better! After you have written everything you feel then burn it and watch the flames transform your pain into light. Do this many times until you can’t think of anything to write!

Once you have released the old emotions locked into these imprints you can work on letting go any attachments to the memories and the people that caused you the distress. You can do this by tying a thread around your wrist and breaking this as you say “I let go and release all influence from the past from this person or situation. I take back control, now right now.”

Having set yourself free from the past here are a few ideas to help you be the master of how you feel.

Channelling the highest vibrations
Channelling spiritually high energy can help raise your own vibrations. You will get the double benefit of lifting your energy field as the energies flow through you and also you heal your inner issues and scars as your vibrations rise. You can send these energies to your work, your home and your projects and to people you know who are mentally or physical sick. Helping others always makes you feel better about yourself. Use any healing modality that works for you. Here are two symbols I use.

Healing symbol – draw three times from right to left and direct the energy flow where you wish.





Distance healing symbol – to send to a person or situation far away use this symbol after the healing symbol. Draw it once.




Make a plan
What you want your life to be like? What do you want to achieve? Write down your options then ask yourself which ones makes you feel good inside, which one is the least harmful to others and the most beneficial to yourself and others. Aim for a life that balances helping others and also helping yourself. Write down all the fears and anxieties that you hold around your future and set an action plan to clear and heal the cause of those fears. Remember that plans can be changed but inaction leads to stagnation and depression. Once you know what you want to do then write a contract that helps you to focus and is a constant reminder of what you want to achieve. Start with baby steps but start now.

Sharing you time with positive people
It is hard to be upbeat and positive if you spend time with pessimists, gossips, victims and people with negative attitudes or who are critical of you and you will spend too much time protecting your energy and trying to balance out their negativity. Where you have a choice, spend your time with people who make you feel good about yourself, who are fun to be with, who are kind and caring.

Look coolly and carefully at work and play
You will struggle to keep a positive attitude if you are doing work that is against your nature. If possible choose a role that fits your personality and your skills. If it’s not possible to change your occupation then try to find things to do in your off time that uplift you, stretch and challenge you and bring stimulation into your life, preferably in real time rather than computer based. Do things that balance you work, if you work indoors find outdoor hobbies, if you sit at work take up sport and exercise, if you use your mind at work then find something heart-based or creative or both.

The Ripple Effect
These suggestions are just a few of the many things you can do to ensure that the majority of the time you are sending out positive vibes naturally and easily. Make a habit of looking for the positive, avoid negative people and situations, choose the route through life that supports rather harms you and determine that you will be in charge of your emotions rather than allow them to rule you. As you heal and clear the imprints and scars of the past and become more at peace with yourself you will begin to naturally throw out your light and this in itself becomes a magnet that draws positive situations and people towards you. Check this out by using your smile to send out positive vibes. It is amazing the effect that a simple smile will have on other people! Watch the way they react and send that great energy back to you. You are a magnet for light and for love!

Thank you for sharing this series. I hope to meet up with you some time in the future. In the meantime, I send you love and super big hugs, Anne xxx

About the author: Anne Jones is an international author and key-note speaker. Her self-help books have been translated into 17 languages. With her down to earth style she helps her audiences and readers to find ways to cope with everyday problems and overcome the effects of trauma and loss. She gives practical advice on how to stay uplifted and energised as you face the challenges of life. See her website for further information.


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