Love vs Fear: Life Coach Jo Barnard cautions about the dangers of when fear speaks loudest

There’s no doubt about it; we are complex creatures. We have been blessed with these incredible minds that allow us to carry out so many useful tasks. What we are able to accomplish is nothing less than mind blowing.

But although the ability to think and make decisions is essential, our minds don’t always act in our best interest, and we can all too often make decisions that really don’t serve us, our highest good, or anyone else. In other words, our minds are not only a blessing, but also a curse. It’s the double edged sword.

Our minds are constantly chattering away to us, reminding us of what we should be doing, what we haven’t done yet, what is super urgent, why we’re not good enough, why we should have achieved more, what someone else has done to us, and why the world is out to get us.

This is called the fear-based ego mind. It shouts the most and it shouts the loudest, and if we believe everything it says, and attach to its notions, we quickly vibrate to the lowest common denominator. We gossip, we judge, we blame, we play small, and ultimately, we separate ourselves from what’s good, and all of this stuff stops us from growing in spirit and living our purpose.

Now this constant wittering is so relentless, that we come to believe it to be true. We honestly believe that we’ve failed, or that someone else is to blame for our misery, or that we’ll never be able to move forwards and live our dreams.

[x-head] The All-Loving Sub-Conscious

But here’s the thing. Sitting quietly and patiently behind the ego mind, is the all-knowing and all-loving subconscious mind. It doesn’t shout, it doesn’t scream or stomp its feet, and it doesn’t demand our attention. Nevertheless, it is there, waiting tolerantly and considerately at any given moment for the opportunity to show us the truth; to guide us forward in a way that serves our own highest good, and the highest good of all.

It is so incredibly wise, and if only we could hear it, it would provide us with a loving answer at every turn; steering us gently through life’s ups and downs, towards a place of infinite peace.

The trouble is, the screams are very difficult to ignore. They are loud and they are powerful. And when we’re in doubt, or tired, or low, or feeling vulnerable, their message is seriously convincing.

So what’s the answer? A daily spiritual practice is the absolute answer.

Showing up as the authentic you, at your inner altar, every day, to acknowledge and salute the love in you, will pay great dividends. When we take even a few minutes to do this, we begin to vibrate to humility, to grace, to understanding and to acceptance, and the process of life seems so much simpler. We can see clearly.

Meditation to Connect with The Love In You:

Close your eyes and breathe deeply, in your own gentle rhythm, and as you breathe out, just release any tension that you may be aware of. Do this a few times, letting go of anything that no longer serves you in this moment.

As your body and mind sink into a state of deep relaxation, you make an intention to connect with the love in you; your loving self who knows what’s best for you and has pure loving intentions for your own highest good, and for the highest good of all.

Allow the love in you to walk forward into your mind’s eye, in whichever form they take. Either see or sense their presence, welcome them, and begin to breathe their unconditional love fully into your heart.

As you connect fully with the love in you, you prepare to ask them some questions:-

  1. The first question you ask is, ‘what loving belief will help me to bring more joy, fulfilment and purpose into my life?’
  2. The second question you ask is, ‘what is the most limiting and outdated belief that I need to let go of in order to make room for a life of joy, fulfilment and purpose?’
  3. The third question you ask the love in you is, ‘may I please now see, feel, or sense in some way, what joy, fulfilment and purpose are to me.’
  4. The fourth question you ask the love in you is, ‘what is the most loving thing that I can do for myself, today or this week, that will help me to move towards my life of joy, fulfilment and purpose?’
  5. The fifth question you ask the love in you is, ‘who is it that I most need to forgive in order that I can move towards my life of joy, fulfilment and purpose?’
  6. And the final question you ask is, ‘what support do I need to ask for in order that I can live a life of joy, fulfilment and purpose?’

Breathe deeply and sense the love in you. Know that you already have all the tools that you need to create a life of joy, fulfilment and purpose. Give heartfelt thanks to the love in you and know that this loving force is at your disposal whenever you need it. All you need to do is make the time and space to connect and listen.

Take a deep, uplifting breath now as you become aware of your chair, and this room again, and whenever you’re ready, please open your eyes, and write down anything that came to you. 

How our Thoughts Create our Reality

Everything we create, starts with a thought, be it good or bad. All thoughts create form on some level.

Let’s look at the four stages:

  1. We start with a THOUGHT.
  2. Our thought triggers an EMOTION.
  3. Our emotions cause us to ACT.
  4. We end up manifesting something PHYSICAL.

As we’ve already mentioned, our thoughts can either be negative (based on fear) or positive (based on love).

Let’s look at what happens when we have a negative thought.

  1. The thought which is generated in the cortex of the brain, triggers an emotion in the mid brain, which is consistent with the thought. Negative thoughts will trigger feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety or jealousy.
  2. We then begin to act in a couple of different ways:-

Externally, our behaviour will be negative – maybe moody, angry or shut off. We may be unkind or we may believe that life’s out to get us.

Internally, these negative thoughts and feelings send nerve impulses to the adrenal glands which release a number of different chemicals into the bloodstream. These circulate throughout the body, affecting the pituitary gland, causing the release of more chemicals, including adrenaline, hormones and neurotransmitters. These chemicals activate and affect every organ in the body, on a negative level.

  1. The physical outcome on an external level is that all of these negative behaviours create lack. Lack of opportunities in life, lack of positive people around us, and lack of good stuff coming our way.
    And the internal physical outcome of negative thoughts will be anything from tiredness, headaches, tummy upsets and disturbed sleep, to high blood pressure, skin conditions and chest pain, to heart disease, strokes and cancer; depending on the length of stressful thoughts.

In summary, negative thoughts create lack.

So now let’s look at what happens when we have a positive thought.

  1. Positive thoughts trigger positive emotions, such as happiness, joy, positivity, trust, hope or gratitude.
  2. With these feelings, our external behaviour will be loving – we will be friendly, compassionate, helpful, inspired, enthusiastic, and open.

And internally, positivity will travel throughout our body and encourage the healing process.

  1. The physical outcome on an external level is abundance – great opportunities and positive people around us. And internally, the physical outcome will be the enjoyment of more energy, vitality and general wellbeing.

Do you see how powerful we are? We are literally manifesting from each and every thought we hold. So, based on our understanding that all thought creates form on some level, we must each decide what form we want to create.

Do you wish to listen to the fear-based ego mind that shouts and stomps? Or do you want to listen to the loving guidance that sits patiently behind?

Jo Barnard is a Life Coach, Wellness Expert and Author. or

The above meditation can also be found on Jo’s Youtube channel:

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