By Anne Jones, self-help author and speaker.
Dealing with Angry People and Bullies
In this series I share ways to manage your energy levels and to cope with the negativity you can face day to day from those you work and live with and to rise above the heavy vibes created by irritating and demanding people that can lower your quality of life.
Anger can be one of the most harmful and disrupting emotions for those that feel it and those on the receiving end of someone venting it. We all have our tipping point, our hot spot or sacred button that when pressed by circumstance or someone’s comment can make even the most placid of us burst out into a tirade of frustration. There is no harm in expressing anger, it’s far better to let out your upsetting feelings than suppressing them deep down where they can do serious harm by turning into toxic energy that corrosively eats away inside. But any expression of anger needs to be carefully targeted away from other people as it can have lasting consequences.
Even if someone is not attacking you but just feeling angry they can have an impact on your own energy field and unsettle your own state of peace and calm. If someone is holding pent up anger your sixth sense will feel it and even if they are simply irritated you will know.
This is what the aura (energy field) of an angry person would look like if you could see it and it’s this spiky energy that your sixth sense is picking up. In colour it would be a roiling red! Just being near someone like this can be unsettling.
What can you do to prevent anger affecting you?
Your own anger:
• Express your feelings by writing down what you think or feel. Avoid sending off this letter until you have calmed down and composed it in a careful way that won’t harm anyone or rebound to you. If your feelings are very strong write what you feel and then burn it. You have then released your feelings without harming any one or causing repercussions.
• Recognise your weak spot, your button that, when pressed, unleashes strong emotions and out of control behaviour. Follow this to discover the underlying cause of your irritation or anger. It may be some injustice you have experienced way back in childhood or a fear that sits beneath surface; a fear of being inadequate in some way, a fear of not being good enough to please a parent; a fear of not being heard or treated fairly. Find it then set your intention to heal it.
• Get into action. If your anger comes from injustice for yourself or another you will feel heaps better if you do something positive; sign a petition, write a carefully worded letter of complaint or put forward a suggestion that may resolve a situation. Passion and anger are close feelings and either can be a driving force for good when used to help create change and improvement for society.
Other people’s Anger
• Avoid confrontation. It’s not advisable to provoke someone who you sense is angry. Even if you feel angry yourself keep your emotions buttoned up until you are far away from them then let it out – somewhere away from other people. DUCK and be aware that the anger is most likely coming from a problem they are dealing with; their own inner demons or fear and may not be a judgement of you personally but an expression of some deep-seated issue of their own. If you have given someone genuine cause to be angry apologise quietly and leave.
• Don’t respond with outrage. If you start to argue back or defend your position, your words or your actions it will just make the other person come back at you. An argument is a battle of power, one person trying to become empowered by proving themselves right and becoming the victor. The energy between two people arguing is like a ping pong ball of power energy flying back and forth. If you win you may feel good for a while but after a time you will be exhausted as all emotional upset and energy battles will drain you.
• Get into your egg. Use the egg protection. Visualise or intend that you are protected by an egg that has thick walls that prevent the angry energy getting through to you. Say to yourself “I am protected and negative energies cannot touch me”. DON’T LET THEM STEAL YOUR ENERGY! If the anger comes unexpectedly then bring down a shutter in front of you.
• Draw the Peace and Harmony symbol. This symbol will send out your intention of bringing in calming and peaceful energy vibrations.
Peace and harmony symbol. (Draw the base first then the candle light)
When an angry person becomes aggressive, bullying or controlling towards you then you have to take some action to save yourself from being harmed.
• Hide your emotions. Try not to show fear or react in any way. Bullies thrive on seeing the emotional break down of their victims. Any negativity you may feel from holding on you can release later by writing and burning your feelings or from shouting them out in a safe space.
• Share your situation. If you are being regularly bullied or abused take steps as soon as possible to share your circumstances by making use of the increasing number of charities and social service that offer help lines to offer advice and guidance.
If you find that you are repeatedly attracting angry people or bullies ask yourself why. Stand tall, don’t judge yourself, speak up and express your feelings and have a voice and remember bullies are scared and unsure of themselves otherwise they would not need to steal your energy and show power over you, YOU ARE BIGGER THAN THEM.
Be strong, keep your head down and take care.
About the author: Anne Jones is an international author and key-note speaker. Her self-help books have been translated into 17 languages. With her down to earth style she helps her audiences and readers to find ways to cope with everyday problems and overcome the effects of trauma and loss. She gives practical advice on how to stay uplifted and energised as you face the challenges of life. See her website for further information.